the moment would come
"Oh shit" I said
inside my head
as my heart grew from grinch to grin
and water swelled
in my eyes.
I squeezed the steering wheel
as I felt the white pines
watching me
and the juniper listening,
celebrating
with frosty bitter blue fruit
jewels on her boughs
and the white birches reach, drinking
in the January sun while it lasts
as the bald eagles cavort
and the jagged mountain sides pour
with thick still ice
While I drove down
interstate 84
West
with my children in the car
and the smell of this particular place
and time
in my nose,
Home
landed in me.
I'm here.
This land is me. My body
responds now
to it's changing light
the curvy hipped roads
and gazelle winter trees
The decent of Autumn
and revelation of summer
Her greenery, her cycles
my teacher.
I never thought
the moment would come
when Connecticut called me
home
and I would accept.
Yet in the time it took
for the next snowflake
to melt on the hood
of my red Saturn
(which is terrible in snow)
the spirit of this land
thawed my icy heart
as my mind sped
a film in my head
and showed me visions
of all the plants I've come to know
and trees I've wept upon
and rivers carrying my prayers
roots and nuts that are now
my hair, my skin
the hills who hold my walk
the rocks who tell my story
and the collective of
that movie
surrounded by the people keeping
me loved.
"Oh shit"
I thought
"It's here?
Not Tennessee? Or Virginia? Or
Asheville North Carolina? Costa Rica?"
No
She says
at least not right now.
You are here
with me
you are here
come in.
8 comments:
Gorgeous! I especially like the lines "roots and nuts that are now my hair, my skin." <3
We acclimate to a place; How not?
Breath taking.
Thank you ladies. Sidney I never did think I could acclimate to here, I've lived here for 18 years. If I wasn't some one pursuing intimacy with the land, I may never have acclimated. And I expect there will be times of doubt and restlessness - I suppose like any real relationship :) but for now, the feeling of being at home on this land is a huge threshold for me.
Thanks for reading :)
Blessings
Ananda
it's great feel at peace with where you are...i'm still working on that myself.
beautiful ananda:) s happy for you feeling this way.
...and this is why i am scared to stay here
scared to fall in love with this place
your poems are so amazing and i identify so much with what you feel... and express so eloquently! :)
you magic magic woman
Jaz, indeed. It is scary as hell. But better to know what it is to fall in love with the land, as perhaps it will ease the experience of falling in love with other humans. We can, at least, belong fully, possessively, jealously, recklessly; to our land.
Thank you for reading and for sharing, too.
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