Just as the caterpillar thought it was going to die.... it became a butterfly...
Does the pupa know it is going to become something greater? Does it care that it spends a year in the gall .... and lives for ten days as an adult fly?
Do I know why I have made choices .... and exist in a strange, seemingly endless embryonic phase?
Not really. I get glimpses. But other than that I have to just let go... I am here, now, with my present to do list and my present moment resources. It is a constant challenge.
I need to push on with tasks which are the wake of my choices. They are commitments, reflected in the watchful eyes of a larger passion. Is living within a larger passion always a trying task? Is it swimming in the swamp to study the willows?
Maybe. But I would like to be in the willow. Bending in the breeze and growing effortlessly.
My Anima Medicine Woman Tradition course, this week, is self led, based on what material I have already and on my reading (and re-reading) of the Creed. I am stricken by the principles therein.
One of the principles that moves me most is this one:
"While she accepts discipline from nobody, it is through her self-discipline that she is best able to benefit, actualize and utilize."
Reading this opens and relaxes me. Reminds me that I make good decisions for myself, and ultimately am self propelled. It pulls me right out of feeling helpless and at the mercy of others. It removes fear.
All of the guidelines on this wonderful declaration of interdependence are words that challenge me, demand my fullness, uplift and inspire me, and nourish my deepest sense of self worth. They are ways I am bringing into my life as allies.